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How to stop beating yourself up along the journey

I spent most of the week beating myself up for not being perfect. I'm giggling as I type this, because the idea of trying to be perfect is so silly - but for whatever reason hard to be rational about it in the moment. To be fair, sometimes I don't even realize I'm trying to be perfect until I really take a moment to assess why I'm beating myself up. Nine times out of ten it's because I'm frustrated I haven't mastered something yet.


My logical self truly understands what it takes to master something. I've been trying to master homemade pizza for years without a ton of luck, but when I don't make the mark I don't beat myself up! So here are a few reminders on how to stop beating yourself up along your journey that I needed this week which hopefully resonate with you too.


  • TAKE A BREATH. When you find yourself spiraling and beating yourself up in the moment, take a deep breath. The kind where you roll your shoulders back, and unclench your jaw. Just focus on some grounding techniques to shift your energy.

  • Start with compassion. Once you've taken a deep breath, give yourself the same compassion you so easily give others. I always try to think about how I would talk to my 10-year old niece if she were to say or think any of things I use to beat myself up and I try to give myself that same level of love back.

  • Celebrate your wins! This is a more proactive approach, but the reality is you're on this journey for a reason and just being on the path is a huge win. Acknowledge that. Celebrate it! Remind yourself more regularly of how far you've come. I started keeping a list of wins in my journal that I can revisit when I'm having a tough day.

  • Acknowledge your feelings. When I'm having a bad day, I acknowledge it. I give myself permission to have a bad day, but I check in with myself throughout the day to see if I'm ready to shift the energy or not. If the answer is no, that's ok. When it feels like I've spent a few days in a row not wanting to shift my energy I realize there's usually some feelings that I haven't acknowledged or validated for myself. When I'm having a good day, I acknowledge that too. Sometimes, I check in hourly vs. daily. Give yourself room to do what feels ok to you.

  • Remind yourself of the journey. This is probably a more proactive tip vs. something you can use in the moment, but use mantras or quotes to remind yourself of the journey you're on. Use these tools to keep these reminders of compassion and your wins top of mind each day.

  • Lastly, lean on your community. It's ok to be vulnerable and let the ones you love and love you know when you're struggling. Talk about it because like everything else, this too will shift. Your struggles are just a reminder you're human and don't need to feel as isolating as society makes them seem.

Remember, your journey of self-love is just that. There's no race, no winning, no finish line. It's a practice that you commit to daily.



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